[Mattitude]

Well, it's been a while since I've been here and even longer fishing & hunting unfortunately. I've never been in active combat (but have been in combat zones) but in the past 17 years in the Air Force has somehow beat me up. In the last 8 years I've had 2 shoulder surgeries, 2 back surgeries and a heart attack for a grand total of 9 surgeries. I just recently found out that I have avacsular necrosis in both hips along with a partial labral tear in my left hip and I'm looking a total hip replacement (THR) which will be at least 2 more surgeries. I'm only 36 yet I feel like I am 70. My wife and I welcomed our daughter to the world on 1 Febuary and now my biggest fear is that by the time she gets older I won't be able to be active with her like I want to be. It's a sinking feeling and many people just don't understand. There are days that my shoulder throbs or my back hurts so much that it takes all I can just to get out of bed or it feels like someone dumped a bucket of sand in my hips or my left hip will dislocate just from walking or getting in my truck. Most of the things I enjoy, I just can't do and the effect on my family is going to get worse as the years go by. I just needed to vent because I really only get to tell my wife and sometimes it takes too much of a toll on her.