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40 Days without fishing

7K views 55 replies 19 participants last post by  NCStateFisher 
#1 ·
I've had a couple of folks reach out and wonder where my fishing reports have been, which prompted me to provide an explanation . . . and document a challenge.

As a Catholic, we observe Lent. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a 40 day period where you suck all the fun out of life and make yourself intentionally miserable. There are all sorts of fun ways that you can do this - give up stuff you like, do stuff you hate, the opportunities are endless. I think next year I'm going to convert to something that requires me to do fun stuff all the time. If it doesn't exist, I'm gonna start it. Who's in?

Anywho, the whole point of this is really to master things that enslave you. Things that start out as fun and enjoyable have a way of slowly enslaving you. Like good food? Isn't long before you get picky and won't eat anything else. Like to drink? Pretty soon it just can't be 5:00 soon enough. Hate doing something? Pretty soon you find yourself working awful hard to avoid it . . . You get the picture.

I had to think long and hard this year about what to do. Actually, that's not entirely true, I knew immediately what I needed to do, I just didn't want to do it.

I had to give up fishing . . . or at least try. I mean, come on, yes it's only 40 days, but it's 40 days SMACK in the MIDDLE of the best time of year! And I haven't even FISHED this part of the year in Wilmington yet!

Before you call me crazy, I should explain why. It's gotten a little out of hand. Things usually start Sunday evening, after the weekend. The trip I managed to go on wasn't long enough, didn't produce enough fish, or worse, it was long enough, produced enough fish, and was so spectacular. Either way, I'm miserable. I'm either miserable because I feel like I blew a great opportunity on the water, or it was so darned good, I just wish I was out there again. But, of course, I can't be, because I have bills to pay, kids to raise, a wife to take care of, and a honey do list that as items on it from 1992.

Monday isn't any better, because, well, it's Monday. I still have the Sunday blues, but now I've been at work all day thinking about how I'd rather be fishing, and secretly running up and down the coast on Google Earth scoping out spots I should have tried last weekend and have to try this weekend.

Of course, there are so many places I need to try that I get depressed because I only have a few hours to go and I can't try all of them.

Tuesday is a rinse and repeat of Monday, but add in a little more anxiety because now I'm watching the weather forecast, which is becoming more accurate and trying to reconcile all the other schedules around the best time/day for fishing.

Wednesday, take Tuesday and multiply it by 6. Now the conversations begin with my wife that sound like "Honey, what do we have planned this weekend?" At which point she reminds me of 6 things I hadn't thought of on Tuesday that HAVE to happen on Saturday, which is when the weather was going to be decent. Sunday is free . . . except for the fact we go to Mass in the morning and I teach a class in the evening. So my fishing window of opportunity is 4 hours in the middle of the day . . . when it's going to rain, blow, and freeze.

Thursday, after mapping it all out in my head, and reminding myself that I can fish in bad weather, I check the weather, and it's now changed. Saturday is going to be prettier, Sunday is going to be Armageddon. Oh, and the thing that had to happen on Saturday is now going to be moved to Sunday. But my wife gets me. She is really spectacular. She knows how much I love to fish and she's trying even harder than I am to get the schedules to work. She says things like "Honey, it's fine, I don't have to go grocery shopping, and we really don't have to watch our daughters big gymnastics meet, go fishing!" And the worst part is she really means it. (She doesn't have to give anything up for Lent, she has a ticket to heaven for putting up with me).

Friday, I'm in an absolute tizzy over which place to fish, who to go with, when to go, and how to make it as easy on the family as possible.

Saturday, I go when I really shouldn't have.

Sunday . . . well, repeat all of the above.

So, between now and Easter, I'm not going fishing.

I'll keep you posted on how I do . . . .
 
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#3 ·
BTW - I should mention that I'm 1.5 weeks in. So far, so good. No fishing, and I'm chewing through that honey do list. Built a big garden last weekend, sodded the yard, finished some landscaping. My wife seems to like having a husband on the weekends.

I hear that there are fish around, but I'm chosing not to believe such lies. Nope. Fish don't exist.

Gonna address the water stains on the bottom of the boat this weekend. Just in case . . .
 
#4 ·
Gus you have earned monumentous respect from me (and I know that's not the intention of your post of course). I too am catholic and had friends jokingly suggest I give up fishing for lent, at which I scoffed. At this stage in my life I couldn't do it, it brings me too much peace and satisfaction. But I don't have children or a family who needs me around on the weekend so it holds a different premium for me. I once gave up alcohol for lent at a time in my life where it was taking too much from my scholarly duties and I used that time to recalibrate. Good luck with it and I hope it yields the growth and blessings for which lent is intended!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#5 ·
I'm no expert on the bible or other religious type stuff, but doesn't the bible say "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime"? So taking somebody out, and "teaching" them to fish would NOT violate your lent obligations. I may be able to free myself to be your pupil.
 
#10 ·
LOL - Y'all are funny. Truth be told, the first weekend wasn't too bad. I really enjoyed having "nothing" to do, and instead having no reason not to do all the things I need to do.

This week's been a little tougher. I caught myself starting up an instagram page and going back in time to all my favorite fishing pics. Not cheating, reliving OLD fishing trips, right? Then Cody called me up - apparently there are some not-to-be-named fish at a not-to-be-named location near me. I had to give up my spots in the hopes that I could live vicariously through his reports afterwards. Not cheating if I'M not the one fishing, right? Then Reel Prime calls me up, wants to know where I've been, why I haven't been posting. He directed me to a few of his posts that I already read but read again anyway because I know that guy can find fish in a swimming pool.

Pretty much wore out YouTube, re-watching all the videos I've already watched. Big day tomorrow, too, Google Earthing every single square foot of coastline between the Keys and Maine. I'll probably head west along the Gulf on Thursday. Friday, I think I'll just stick a dull spoon in my eye.

'S gonna be a long 6 weeks. Y'all keep the reports coming, though. I need 'em, even if they kill me!
 
#12 ·
Jacob - I grew up as one, but I attend Lutheran church these days.

Since the Catholic church doesn't allow divorce, but my ex and the law don't allow me to be married any more, the Catholic Church is telling me that I am condemning my soul to hell for seeking a woman to spend the rest of my life with.

But, rumor has it, if I pay a nice fee, they will grant me an annullment.... Which would make my children illegitimate. That whole idea is a no go for me.

(Ever hear of "butter towers"? Welcome to the same idea in 2017)

And, in my heart, I do not believe that trying to find happiness with another woman(sequentially, I am not a cheater) to be sinful. So I either stay in the Catholic church and become a hypocrite, or I find a church whose views more closely match my own, and hope God understands. I wasn't made to be celibate for 20 years or so (Well.... I guess early in my life I came pretty close to that... but I don't want the bookend on the back side).

Sorry... personal crisis of faith a couple of years ago, and that was what I decided.
 
#15 ·
If the marriage never existed (that is what an annullment says) then the offspring can't be legitimately part of something that never existed. There is some justification they give where this isn't true, but the logic fails me, and it's pretty clear logically to me that if something never existed, it can't have legitimate issue.

It's just a way the modern church is trying to adapt to the fact that many are divorced and re-married... Instead of recognizing divorce, they try to profit from it and put a bunch of canon lawyers to determine how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. It bothers me, since I am in that situation. I don't like lawyers of any stripe, including canon lawyers.
 
#14 ·
Gus, I have the utmost respect for you, and I really appreciate all the info, but I almost wish you hadn't called me. You got me thinking way to much when you talked about how much fishing ran your life. I barely remember what happens on the days I don't fish. 5 days of work and school and whatever else happens just kind of pass on a blur. I spend every waking moment planning trips if im not fishing. I spent 3 days at the coast for spring break and it flew by. We fished sun up to sun down but when I left all I wanted to do was go back. It got me thinking that I'm literally zoning out for the majority of my week. Time with the family, time with the girl friend, time I could be relaxing. I always joke that fishing isn't relaxing for me. It's the most stressful part of my life! Hunting season is the only time I feel like I truly relax. Probably because it's when I take a break from fishing. I'm not to the point where I'm going to stop fishing, I know I can't do that, but you really put things in perspective for me. Props to you man. Much respect. I'll try to remind those fish that they aren't going to be safe for long. I'll give em a taste of what's coming the day after Easter when you get back on the water!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk
 
#16 ·
Swampin' - Yep, that pretty much describes me too, but as you said, being a bit later in life (not to be confused with "old" of course), when I devote all of my attention to fishing, people around me suffer. Someday I'll reconcile the "who I am" as a fisherman with the "what I am" as a husband, father, employee. Life long journey, I suspect.

Big Lenr - sorry to hear about how things have gone. If it helps, we can chat offline about some of this. I can't give you great answers, but I might be able to clear up some confusion in what you are describing.

On other matters, big plans for today to avoid fishing. I noticed that my cuticles are getting out of control and there is an issue with the water heater that needs my attention. Also, hoping to dig up some more old fishing pics from several SD cards from 3 phones ago.

Is it Easter yet????
 
#25 ·
Well, another weekend and things are a little harder. I seem to have developed a nervous tick and my hands are shaking a bit. Perfectly normal I am sure, given the length of my addiction.

I fixed the slides on my sons dresser drawer earlier this week when I normally would have been planning my weekend trip. I also bought 50 bucks worth of seeds for the wifes garden instead of spending that money on tackle at intercoastal angler.

All in all i think i am doing okay. . . .is it Easter yet?
 
#28 ·
You do realize by planting a garden and sodding the lawn you are making MORE work for yourself AFTER Easter right? Might want to mix up the Miracle grow and Round up and do away with this upcoming dilemma LOL! and if you run out of stuff to do let me know you can work on my "Honey do list" it's tournament season I gotta go! :p
 
#32 ·
I'm almost there. Two more weekends, three more weeks. . . . I have worn out my to-do list, I have avoided the fishing forums, and been back to them. I have tried to ignore fishing, and I've been completely unsuccessful. I even took the boat out last weekend to stretch her legs, but left all of my rods at home.

A few observations on the effects of this experiment:
1) My temper is hair trigger sensitive. Seriously - I'm generally happy/content going on with life, then something stupid happens and I completely blow up. I'm not exactly Mr. calm and passive by nature, but this is a new development. I've dissected this a thousand times in conversations with my wife, and finally realized that it started about a week after I gave up fishing.

2) I am not sure I've gotten out of this what I was hoping to. I'm not entirely sure what it was in the first place, but whatever it was seems to be eluding me. I think I thought I'd be less focused on fishing . . . that has not proven the case.

3) I am around a lot more physically, but not around anymore mentally. I have to work on that over the next three weeks.

4) I am finding that my kids miss me going. Apparently, that father/son/daughter time was more important to them than I realized. They don't miss the fishing as much as the time together. It's not that we have deep and meaningful conversations (I'm usually yelling at the underwater snags, cursing the not-hungry fish, or trying to ignore the time), but they just miss the "just dad and me" time.

5) My wife informed me yesterday that she never minds the time I'm actually away, it's the "stuff" all around the trip that usually stresses the family out - the planning before, the agonizing over the weather forecasts, the coming home feeling guilty for having been gone. Apparently, I'm making this harder on everyone than I need to. Note to self - when I go fishing again, just go fishing. ignore the weather, don't feel guilty, etc.

6) Short trips are good, long trips are . . . occassionally okay.

The biggest question I've been struggling with is where fishing fits in my vocation as a father, husband, employee, etc. I thought I'd realize that it doesn't, that it's extraneous, but I keep coming back to the realization that it actually fits in there somewhere as a critical piece, but not quite sure where. . . .
 
#33 ·
So close... You need to PROVE to yourself that you are the master of your fishing needs..... Launch your boat with your rods and lures, and just cruise along watching others fish. It won't be hard... Just watching them cast, seeing their rods bend when a good fish hits, again, and again... until you go back home to weed your wife's garden. You can do it!
 
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