Passing of my Forever Loving Wife 7/17/2018 - Page 2
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Thread: Passing of my Forever Loving Wife 7/17/2018

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Eden
    Posts
    839

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    Yesterday, was a hard day. It was her Birthday, so I went down to visit the grave and bring flowers to her. I know she Loved Yellow Roses and we both Loved the Autumn season. In fact, we had gotten married in the fall. That day is October 22, we had a candlelight service and had it in the house we both shared. She never felt right being not married and sharing the bed. So we just made the wedding day and did all the decorations and had the family to come. After all is said & done the cost for our wedding was under $350.00, which included the food & drinks also the minister. But back to yesterday, I drove from Eden to Salisbury National Cem. the drive isn't bad just long and plenty of nuts on the road. Made it back safe and just rested the whole day and watched football, Go Wolverines! Her birthday gave me the pleasure of relief of heartache. The only thing I felt was wrong, our daughter couldn't go, due to having her 1 son for the weekend, I wanted to tell her off but thought better. I still Love her, after all, she is my daughter.
    Dennis iyankapi matho' ( RunningBear )
    Red X Angler

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  3. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Fayetteville
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    667

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    Dennis,

    You gave her so much, you loved her and she got to receive that gift from you from the moment you first chose to love her until the day she passed. The Love was there, in her heart and soul, not hearing the words did not diminish the feeling of being loved and cared about for her.

    I am am so sorry to hear what you are going through, I can't imagine the pain losing someone so close so unexpectedly. I hope you can find the strength and courage to honor her love for you, and live the life she wants for you.

    It it will take time to mourn her absence, to find your way to living the life she wants for you, without her by your side, but you can by moving yourself forward one step at a time. Please go to see a counselor, someone who can listen to you and help you focus your hurt in a healthy way. Think of how proud she will be seeing so much strength in the man who chose to love her with all his heart.
    ChltBnks, and Dennis Running Bear like this.

    Red X Angler... I am but a padawan.
    Old Town Predator 13

  4. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Eden
    Posts
    839

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    Thank You, it is hard to speak even type words. I do realize that it is helping me by passing this information on this forum. Then having kind friends like you listen to my pain. Just want to Thank You All.

    Dennis iyankapi matho' ( RunningBear )
    Red X Angler

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  6. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    2

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    Hi Dennis,

    I'm sorry that Saturday was so hard, but that you could find some joy in your wife's birthday.

    I completely understand about your pain being so intense that you considered ending your life.

    You are not alone in that.

    Moses - Numbers 11:15
    Elijah - 1 Kings 19:4
    Paul - 2 Corinthians 1:8

    ... all had the same thoughts.

    I am so glad to hear that God used the picture of your Pomeranians to touch your heart and move you from doing that.

    Regarding your daughter. I am glad you could bring yourself to give her grace. Obviously I don't know her, but I do know that different people grieve in different ways. While your wife's birthday comforted you, it may have been a deep source of pain for your daughter. Her own pain may be so great that she has a hard time facing YOU. Doesn't quite make sense, but it happens.

    God will toughen your ability to handle the pain, but it will never really go away. It is like a physical scar on your body. It is a "toughened" area of skin, but it will always be there.

    You can expect that your pain will come in waves. After a while, you will have a day when it doesn't consume you. Don't feel guilty when that day comes. Then there will be other days down the road, where just some little obscure thing will bring it all back fresh. Keep turning to God to help you endure.

    It may help to talk to your wife, knowing that she hears you, but don't expect to hear her end of the conversation. Just like it has helped you to write on this forum. You CAN hear from God, though. Spend time with Him, be quiet and listen. If you have a hard time stilling your mind, try this. Imagine if I told you to close your eyes and that sometime in the next 2 minutes, I was going to ring a bell. As soon as you hear the bell, I want you to raise your right hand as quickly as possible. If you can imagine that scenario, then you can get yourself in the right frame of mind to be listening for God. When He speaks to you, it won't be an audible voice, but your mind with be overwhelmed with a clear message. Now MOST times, you won't hear anything. Keep at it, though, because there WILL be days when He will overwhelm you with His response, guidance, comfort, and love.

    My heart continues to go out to you, as you deal with this overwhelming pain.

    In Christ's love,
    Bill
    Dennis Running Bear likes this.


  7. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    417

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    No one can instantly take away your pain. Talk things over with The Lord, daily. He's very understanding. Praying for you.

    Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
    Dennis Running Bear likes this.


  8. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Eden
    Posts
    839

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    I have been praying since her passing, I even lay there talking to her like she was still here. I think it is my own way of dealing this. I know others have gone through this, it is very new to me and just wish that she had never left me. Then the Lord our God said it is your time, then it is your time. But like I stated in the earlier reply, writing these replies just seems to help also.
    Dennis iyankapi matho' ( RunningBear )
    Red X Angler

  9. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    417

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    You close to Hickory? A good fishing trip cures a lot. You dont have to bring anything. Ive got 7 Abu Garcia Revo X and 2 Quantum Team KVD rigs and enough lures to cover Lake Hickory stacked end to end. You just need to show up. Boats in dry dock. One call and its in the water ready to go. PM if interested. Every fish i catch is dedicated to my late father and his brother. I hope they enjoy the show.

    Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


  10. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Carteret County
    Posts
    5,490

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    Dennis
    My condolences. I know and feel your pain. May God bless you and your family.

    I marvel how the fishes live in the sea.
    Why, as men do a-land; the great ones eat up the little ones.
    William Shakespeare

  11. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Wilmington
    Posts
    48

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    sorry for your loss
    Dennis Running Bear likes this.


  12. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Madison
    Posts
    299

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    Hello Dennis, I just learned of your wife's passing. I know you loved her more than words could tell. You are in my prayers Dennis.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Dennis Running Bear likes this.

    Do like the big fish do, eat the little ones.

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