The End of an Era
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Thread: The End of an Era

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Asheville
    Posts
    1,203

    Default The End of an Era

    I have spent half a lifetime on the run, almost four decades—38 years—of headlong flight from a fact about myself that for most of my life, I couldn't even articulate, and then couldn't bring myself to accept. I lived in ignorance, in denial, and finally, in hiding. In those years I pursued every remedy, tried to fill the gaping hole in the middle of my life with everything, except the one thing that might have made the pain stop. I came to feel like I'd spent life shackled to the corpse of a stillborn child, trapped in a body that had never drawn a breath. And secrets are a heavy burden to bear. So I ran, and I kept on running.

    Fishing has been, for me, the one consistent solace in my existence. When I'm on the water, the pain and confusion and the noise in my head melt away for a little while. I can have peace. I can live for a minute, and not feel the weight of the secrets, the fears, the regrets, or the ghost of the child-that-never-was. The fish don't care, so for a little while, I don't have to, either. So, for the last ten years, I've fished like my life depended on it, and, in a way it did. Every year since 2009, I've been on water at least 120 days, and in some years that figure has approached 200.

    I don't think I'll make that this year, though. I've stopped running. I've finally found the strength to make peace with myself, and for the medium term future I am likely to be busy taking care of the things I need to do to move on with my life the way I might have done had I never gone on the run to begin with. There's been so much wasted time, and so my sense of urgency is quite high. I just haven't had the time to devote fishing lately that I'm accustomed to, and that may remain the new normal while my life is in transition. I have squeezed in a little time here and there this summer, and I'll leave you with a little peak of what I've been up to when I can make it to the water. I expect this to be a bit of a last hurrah for now. But don't worry, I'll be back, just maybe in a somewhat different guise.




















    Cheers y'all!

    Dylar



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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    WNC
    Posts
    135

    Default

    Wow...good luck and stay strong.
    Dylar likes this.


  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Emerald Isle
    Posts
    103

    Default

    Godspeed........if you are ever in the Emerald Isle area and want to fish, look me up........
    Dylar, and jcarpenter like this.


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  6. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Raleigh
    Posts
    1,024

    Default

    Glad to hear you've found peace as much off as on the river. Always enjoyed your posts and look forward to more in the future.
    Dylar, and jcarpenter like this.

    when's a noob no longer a noob...

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Kernersville
    Posts
    629

    Default

    Good luck Dylar.


    I'll miss your posts and pics, until you return.


    Fishscalz
    Dylar likes this.


  8. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    201

    Default

    I’ve enjoyed your post and pics. Hope things work out for you and look forward to more posts/pics in the future.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Dylar likes this.


  9. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Burlington
    Posts
    652

    Default

    Go for it. Time for you to be you!
    Dylar likes this.

    All men are equal before fish - Herbert Hoover
    Red X Angler

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Oak Island
    Posts
    164

    Default

    Thanks for all you have done to enrich so many lives. I can’t remember who said it but the saying is, “Some people fish all their lives without knowing is not fish they seek.” Fly fishing can be very therapeutic so I hope you don’t stay gone too long. It works for women with breast or other cancers, wounded warriors, and a lot of us who need a healing sport to help us sort out our priorities. Blessings on you in your journey of discovery and healing.
    Dylar likes this.


  11. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Swansboro
    Posts
    1,275

    Default

    Former President Herbert Hoover, not known as a great intellect or philosopher, was quoted: "All men are equal before fish." There's something to that, and when you get blamed for the Great Depression, fly fishing was probably a great relief for him. But when you think of it, it's just you and the fish in a pass/fail exam where you almost always get another chance, 100 misses erased by one good cast, presentation, hookup, catch (and release), where the here and now are all that matter.
    Dylar, and EvBlue like this.


  12. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Stallings
    Posts
    866

    Default

    Dylar...heartfelt best hopes and wishes for you! I hope you find your peace, and aren't away too long. And I STILL think and encourage you to get some stuff published! You have so much local knowledge and experience to share and pass on to those who follow, and your style of writing is so accessible, it'd be a shame not to...just saying...
    badankles, Dylar, Fly2bTied, and GreyGhost like this.

    Lifelong fishing nut. Wish I was fishin, instead of wishing!

  13. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Asheville
    Posts
    1,203

    Default

    I want to thank you all for your kind words. I continue to be humbled and inspired by the simple human decency of the angling community. You are all wonderful people.
    badankles, and jcarpenter like this.


  14. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Meebain
    Posts
    2,285

    Default

    You should read The River Why by David James Duncan
    Dylar likes this.

    I follow my own Blog
    Man can build a lake, but only God can make a river

  15. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    257

    Default

    Good luck Dylar! Always been a great help to me.
    Ill keep a look out for a disreputable Subaru parked along the river.
    basswrangler, and Dylar like this.


  16. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Taylorsville
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I have thoroughly enjoyed your posts and photos. Best wishes moving forward.
    Dylar likes this.


  17. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Durham
    Posts
    94

    Default

    Many of us are running from ‘things’ 24/7 and use fishing as an ultimate distraction. You may have been running harder and faster than most... glad you decided get off the track and take a new path. Good Luck and All The Best!




    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

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