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Thread: Ask Dr. H

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by OptiMystic View Post
    Why is it Red X Anglers when most seem to prefer chartreuse?
    Dr. Mr. OptiMystic,

    Please utilize a proper greeting when addressing me in future correspondence on this thread. It is behavior such as this that causes disqualifications from competition at events such as the New River Smallmouth trip by my alter ego, Judge H. Many readers can attest to this, having been disqualified during that epic outing for far less serious breaches of conduct, most of which I cannot recall due to experimentation with a wide range of pharmaceutical and organically grown products consumed in the 70's. I have been informed that you are signed up to attend this year's event in August. Watch it, mister. I might remember this faux pas.

    Many relatively new Red X'rs are not familiar with the story behind the name of this legendary group. Contrary to popular belief it has nothing to do with the color of their necks, their preference in bait colors, the bevy of x-wives they seem to have or their inability or willingness to sign their name on a document. It had to do with marking fish locations. I will reveal no more. The information and story is relatively easy to obtain with a little research. Besides, I don't remember.

    Dr. H

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevef View Post
    Why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? Why to they call them apartments when they're all stuck together?
    I think I actually DO remember already answering the first question you asked earlier on this thread. As to the second 'part' of the Apartments question, that's an easy one. Just because they are all stuck together means nothing for they were MENT to be APART. Same as Jujube's, Dot's and LifeSavers.

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by h2ohhh View Post

    Archeological evidence reveals that Dbeam was drifting Dinosaur eggs for Salmonoid Gigantipithicus. His Social Security number is 1 and he has no card. It is chiseled on a rock.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry Darell but that is freaky hilarious!

    "Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been"
    Red X Angler

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  6. #34
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    Most esteemed and revered counselor,

    An unworthy one returns, this time with a question about pronunciation. Under what conditions is an H silent?
    GreyGhost, h2ohhh, and RouseD like this.

    -Andy

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by OptiMystic View Post
    Most esteemed and revered counselor,

    An unworthy one returns, this time with a question about pronunciation. Under what conditions is an H silent?
    Dear OptiMystic,

    A much improved salutation.

    I once knew a kind gentleman whose speech impediment condition resulted in a silent 'H'. 'Se stomped on dat sand sark's 'ead wit her sue.'

    It is apparent by your cleverly worded inquiry that you are a literate sort. There exists no known condition in which Dr. H is silent. According to Mrs. H, he is even louder when sleeping than when he is awake.

    If you don't believe any of this we shall change your name to 'Pessi...'

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  8. #36
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    The wise an noble one . Dr. H . Will Froggy ever have a chance to win a red x event without disqualifing ?
    Echerd, GreyGhost, and RouseD like this.

    RED X ANGLER

  9. #37
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    Dr h?
    hmmm i thought you were moses hahahaha where do Red Drum live? And what is the best way to catch them and further more what is at the end of an oyster bed?
    GreyGhost, and RouseD like this.

    red x angler and tarheelflyflinger for life -red drum its not an obssesion but a passion

  10. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by froggy waters View Post
    The wise an noble one . Dr. H . Will Froggy ever have a chance to win a red x event without disqualifing ?

    I have no astounding clairvoyant powers like Dr. H but I can answer that one.

    Darrell

    Red X Angler

  11. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by froggy waters View Post
    The wise an noble one . Dr. H . Will Froggy ever have a chance to win a red x event without disqualifing ?
    Dear Mr. Froggy,

    You DO have a chance at winning a Red X event though based on history those chances diminish greatly at the New River Smallmouth Trip. The Red X Tournament Archives (available here: www.nonexistantredxarchives.com) indicate that you have participated in 5 NRST events and have been disqualified from all of them. Professional Outfitters, Guides and others like yourself generally pay no attention to the Red X Tournament Rulebook (available here: www.youreallyarearookieifyouclickthis.com ). Records indicate that you have been DQ'd for: Fishing with too many rods, Utilizing a prototype kayak, claiming fish caught by the lovely Froggette as your own; gaining unfair advantage by sleeping in an RV and attempting to sway the Judge by providing shuttle, camping and cooking services. Good luck in August.

    Dr. H

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  12. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by NCPIERMAN View Post
    Dr h?
    hmmm i thought you were moses hahahaha where do Red Drum live? And what is the best way to catch them and further more what is at the end of an oyster bed?
    Dear Mr. Pierman,

    It gives me great pleasure to receive questions from a legendary redfish catching machine such as yourself. It just goes to show that everyone needs the wisdom of Dr. H. Relative to Moses, scripture says that he was 80 years old before he received his calling from God. I've got a ways to go yet before I can part Queens Creek.

    Red Drum do not live anywhere. Like famous drummers everywhere they are nomadic and are shacking up with different grouperies all the time. They do spend a lot of time playing and hanging around Oyster Bars until closing time. Being a fan of Red Drummers I was speaking last night to Yolanda Spottail who was in the famous Parrots Swamp Honeyhole Bar. She told me that Mick Fleetred of Fleetred Mac left with not one, but two grouperies. Dienda Mullet and Ivana Shrimp. As to the best way to catch them I suggest hanging around school zones, especially in winter. Don't speed through there though. And use whatever free baits your latest sponsor is providing you.

    Finally as to what is at the end of an oyster bed....it's the Red-board of course.

    Dr. H

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  13. #41
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    Did you not see this "OLD" powerful guru? Was hoping you would give me an answer before I had to spend all my fishing money at the doctor's office.


    Quote Originally Posted by RouseD View Post
    Dr H, how do you cure the common cold, and the cough from *&^%*&^%, that goes along with it?
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    RED X ANGLER

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    -Andy

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    Quote Originally Posted by RouseD View Post
    Dr H, how do you cure the common cold, and the cough from *&^%*&^%, that goes along with it?
    Dear RouseD,

    I apologize but due to the overwhelming success of the 'Ask Dr. H' thread I somehow missed your question. I hope you have not spent money going to the doctor yet as I can provide an effective cure.

    Get youself a quart of ^%*((, mix it with two tablespoons of *#$)). Repeat twice per day. Problem solved.

    Dr. H
    dbeam, lostnwilderness, and RouseD like this.

    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  16. #44
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    That is what another red X Angler told me you would say. Can't divulge the name, but he is married to a lovely Russian woman. By the way, he may also need your help. He is down and out for the moment with back issues (most likely, you'll give him the same prescription). Should have listened to him, but wanted to wait for an official answer from Dr H 1st. Due to the large number of great questions from other members, it is me who should be apologizing to you. I'll have to borrow money for my next fishing adventure.
    dbeam, GreyGhost, and Lucky Doug like this.

    RED X ANGLER

  17. #45
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    Dr. H

    A question that has bewildered me for a couple of years now.
    A fishing trip to famous watering hole of Mr. Raymond Vandam Wells.
    We were fishing for the elusive big mouth bass.
    On several occasions Mr. VanDam would snag and land a nice fish. I would follow him around like a puppy, noticing every lure he hooked to that little snap swivel. I would try to mimic his every move. But through trial and error and to no avail I could not get anything but those Crappie fighters, sun perch and horny heads. Then he threw across me and my yak whipped his rod down and around and drug out a 5lb big mouth bass. Needless to say that I was poed. (Not really) I thought for minute looked at my watch and headed for the truck.
    This has happened on other occasions also but we'll not go into those, you get my drift.
    I love the chance to fish Mr. VanDam or be his photographer but I need some help. ??????

    (==) ===='=::}
    GreyGhost, Lucky Doug, and RouseD like this.

    Red X Angler
    Let's go FISHIN'....

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