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Thread: Ask Dr. H

  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solo Skiff Fisherman View Post
    Dr H

    Can you kill 2 birds with one stone fishing.
    Dear SSF,

    If 2 Mergansers are fishing it is possible to kill them both by skipping a flat stone. But they taste like Gulp.

    Dr. H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

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  3. #92
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    Dr. H

    I know about the fishing machine and the fishing guru that can cast over another yak and pull large out large bass plus the Red drum master at the coast. But who is the Zen Master of surf fishing.
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  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solo Skiff Fisherman View Post
    Dr. H

    I know about the fishing machine and the fishing guru that can cast over another yak and pull large out large bass plus the Red drum master at the coast. But who is the Zen Master of surf fishing.
    Dear SS Man,

    It is NOT the guy with a tricked out $60,000 4x4 surf truck with external rod holders full of Hatteras Heavers, 90 gallon Yeti cooler and a customized rear compartment with swing out storage and enough tackle to cause RouseD to have heart palpitations. The Zen Master of the Surf teaches simplicity, confidence and oneness with the beach.

    His name is Hung Big Wan and I had the privilege of his tutelage. Indeed, many students feel embarrassed and endure the mocking of others when appearing on the beach with only 2 rods, sand spikes, a 5 gallon bucket, a couple of lures, weights and hooks in a shirt pocket and a cast net. Especially when you pause in a Zen-like state, serenely absorbing the motion of the tide revealing predatory feeding lanes unnoticed by those without Hung's intensive training. But their scorn turns to wonder at your mastery of all species. They will not ask for advice. Remember...they already know more than you. They subscribe to every magazine, TV fishing show and internet website known to man. Seek out Hung Big Won grasshopper......feel the true essence of Power...pro.

    Dr. H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

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  6. #94
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    Dr H,
    Why is it that a typical work week is five days long and the typical weekend is only two days long? How does one go about reversing the two so as to have five days off a week to fish while only working two?
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  7. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by trigger22 View Post
    Dr H,
    Why is it that a typical work week is five days long and the typical weekend is only two days long? How does one go about reversing the two so as to have five days off a week to fish while only working two?
    Dear Mr. Trigger,

    The obvious answer would be to guide for a living. Dr. H thinks this is a big mistake. Instead of enjoying yourself you are now under a lot of stress to produce for all kinds of demanding people ranging from tourists who think its no big deal to bring their 2 year old along, not to mention the little brat pouring Mr Bubbly Soap in your live well and taking his Power Ranger scissors to your cast net, to the guy who thinks he knows everything questioning you as to why you're not using a Bimini Twist. Essentially, your passion has become your job. And for what? So you can spend your money on health insurance and other cost of living expenses? No! This is the new America. Here's how to reach your dream:

    Renounce your citizenship immediately and change your name to Trigger Gonzalez. Sell everything but your truck and boat. Hang some flyers at a swanky yacht club advertising Trigger's Yacht Cleaning Service. Cash business, weekends only. Health Care free. No taxes. You can even fish after work in some Wall Street Banker's yacht tender and if you do a good job perhaps even live aboard one. Of course you will likely have to pilot the thing down the ICW to Florida in the winter for the owner and suffer with Peacock Bass, Tarpon and Snook. Life is tough.

    Dr. H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  8. #96
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    The truth
    Is painful ^^^^^^^^^^^
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    RED X ANGLER

  9. #97
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    Good Dr. I have a friend who's 30 years old. Lives with his mom. And has never caught a fish. I think its the classic cantcutathecord syndrome. How can we remedy this?
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  10. #98
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    Oh magic H Ball,

    Rainbow trout fishing confuses me. How I am supposed to fish a Bleu cheese Tuscan garlic marshmallow so that it "presents naturally"?
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    -Andy

  11. #99
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    Dr H, how would the unlucky number 13 apply to fishing?
    RED X ANGLER

  12. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by draggsxr1000 View Post
    Good Dr. I have a friend who's 30 years old. Lives with his mom. And has never caught a fish. I think its the classic cantcutathecord syndrome. How can we remedy this?
    Dear Low Drag,

    The only possible way to remedy this unfortunate situation is if your friend actually wants to catch a fish. If so, this entails the psychologically daunting challenge of putting down the x-box controller, having mommy pack his Lone Ranger lunch box with a PB&J sandwich and a juice box and actually leaving the house. Assure mommy that he will be seat belted in the back seat and that you will check in with her every hour. If there's a diaper bag involved Dr. H suggests you suddenly come down with a cold and back out.

    Start him off with a 4'0 Snoopy ML Zebco combination. Its got a much better drag than the Little Mermaid Shakespeare. If the red wigglers scare him switch to a jig. Thank you for spreading interest in the sport.

    Dr.H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  13. #101
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    How did you know about the Xbox? Lol. Are u in my head?
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  14. #102
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    Dr H.
    I am in a waiting room for the department of public health vital records division. How do I make these government employees hurry up so I can enjoy what is left of my day by going to the lake?

    -James Peavy-
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  15. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuquay fisherman View Post
    Dr H.
    I am in a waiting room for the department of public health vital records division. How do I make these government employees hurry up so I can enjoy what is left of my day by going to the lake?

    -James Peavy-
    Dear Jimmy Fuquay,

    You are probably not aware that in real life Dr. H is a government employee. There are other questions ahead of yours that need my attention. Please be patient. You will be serviced in the order your letter arrived. Estimated time is early April.

    Dr. H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

  16. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by h2ohhh View Post
    Dear Jimmy Fuquay,

    You are probably not aware that in real life Dr. H is a government employee. There are other questions ahead of yours that need my attention. Please be patient. You will be serviced in the order your letter arrived. Estimated time is early April.

    Dr. H

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    In other words Jimmy, what Dr H is trying to tell you is that there isn't a way to make a government employee work faster


  17. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by OptiMystic View Post
    Oh magic H Ball,

    Rainbow trout fishing confuses me. How I am supposed to fish a Bleu cheese Tuscan garlic marshmallow so that it "presents naturally"?
    Dear Confused,

    Where legal, you should spray some Kreb's Own Vinagrette Floatant to help the 'mallow ride high on the drift. Rainbows are quite particular at times and offering a smorgasbord of flavor is the way to go. Be sure to let it swing cross stream at the end of the drift. They often can't resist a last minute culinary delight before heading off to the Rainbow Room at the Sand Bar for a night of partying.

    Dr. H

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    H2ohhh, Dr. H, Judge H...what the H? Nucanoe Frontier 12.

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