Sorry to hear that man. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
As NC angler said, the best place to find godly counsel is from a trusted Christian friend or pastor. If you are needing someone to talk to in confidence go to www.biblicalcounseling.com/counselorsjonathan, We will be praying for you today. I hope you have a pastor or trusted Christian friend that you can share with and who can give you some Godly wisdom and guidance and pray and walk thru this with you. Prayer is a good first step!