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Hey, what's a tackle monkey?

Dan
In my couple weeks here on the forums, I think I have the Tackle Monkey Figured out.

From what I hear, it is a mysterious and vicious creature that lurks in the shadows of all bait and tackle shops. When any unsuspecting fisherman enters the shop, the tackle monkey lurks, waiting for that moment when said fisherman eyes any piece of fishing tackle. When the moment is right, the Tackle Monkey jumps out and attacks the fisherman, consuming all coin and paper currency and devouring any and all plastic cards the fisherman might be holding in his/her wallet while at the same time filling his or her pockets with fishing tackle.

After this,the Tackle Monkey uses its telepathy and subliminally implants excuses into the mind of the fisherman. The fisherman, not knowing what has happened, returns home with massive amounts of fishing tackle, no money, and **** poor excuses for why he bought all that tackle.

What do y'all think guys, am I close?:D
 

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Re: What is the tackle Monkey?

Methinks thou hast met the monster!

Don't forget the part about he leaves you with credit card receipts, too.
 

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Re: What is the tackle Monkey?

Methinks thou hast met the monster!

Don't forget the part about he leaves you with credit card receipts, too.

Ahh yes, I did leave that out didn't I. Yes, I have done battle with the creature, and lost. It is just too powerful. I just wish my wife understood the power....of the Tackle Monkey!
 

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Re: What is the tackle Monkey?

My wife's got other shopping monkeys to deal with... She can't claim lack of understanding for mine...

I've managed to win some tackle-monkey battles, but still working on the wars. I've been able to put him off for a month or more... a few times....
 

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Re: What is the tackle Monkey?

The tackle monkey isn't just at the tackle shops. Oh no. He visits you at home, on your boat, at work - basically he can show up anywhere and cause you to have sudden urges to buy a certain product or visit a certain tackle shop. Oh yeah, he often takes over the steering wheel too and drives straight for the nearest bait or tackle shop.

Ah, he's a deceptive ole fellow for sure. Once he's on your back, only way to get him off is to buy more tackle!
 

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Re: What is the tackle Monkey?

I must add that the phrase "safety in numbers" is completely backwards with the tackle monkey. If you enter a bait & tackle shop with friends the monkey uses your pals against you. They assist you in your tackle selection but when your trying to explain to your wife why you spent so much, the tackle monkey suddenly brings about amnesia.
 

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I'd say for sure the tackle monkey is closer related to King Kong than Curious George for many of us. It wont be long until your tackle box is too small or your rod and reel just wont do what you want to do today or that shiny new thing in the magazine or on that fishing show shines bright even with your eyes closed...;)

Oh yes, the monkey lurks in all of us....:eek:
 

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The tackle monkey isn't just at the tackel shops. Oh no. He visits you at home, on your boat, at work - basically he can show up anywhere and cause you to have sudden urges to buy a certain product or visit a certain tackle shop. Oh yeah, he often takes over the steering wheel too and drives straight for the nearest bait or tackle shop.

Ah, he's a deceptive ole fellow for sure. Once he's on your back, only way to get him off is to buy more tackle!
First, welcome aboard Dan!

Mike, you are absolutely right! He has attacked me several times in unsuspecting places.......driving to work, driving home from work, vacations, road trips, living room, kitchen, fishing trips....etc. He attacked me yesterday and the only thing that saved me was the fact that Tex's Tackle in Wilmington isn't open on Mondays. I didnt' know that and the monkey still cost me in the gas I wasted driving about 30 miles out of the way on the way back to Apex. I got out pretty light that time!

Mark
 

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the tackle monkey suddenly brings about amnesia.
After a major Tackle Monkey attack, in addition to amnesia, if you get caught red handed slipping something in the back door or should accidentally leave receipt laying around --immediately develop a severe hearing loss.;)

Should go something like this: Wife--what did you buy this for--you already have 20
Ans: Huh?

Wife--Why is the price tags always torn off that stinking Gulp stuff?
Ans: Huh?

By this time she is getting annoyed at the hearing loss and tells you where she's stuffing the next tackle brought into the house.
Ans: HUH?:eek:HUH?:eek:

Just to be safe, be sure and properly hide any lures with treble hooks.:D
 

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The tackle monkey will possess you to the fullest, he will destroy your marriage, take your home and kids from you (though in some instances he has actully benifited both spouse and kids with much like satisfaction) He will hinder you in your job and he is much like Santa Clause, he is everywhere. He even attacked me at an Aldies grocery store.

The tackle monkey has forced my wife to make comments such as: You don't need that, we can't afford that, I think you are ******* stupid, Don't you already have that, I think you are ******* stupid, But honey,we have bills to pay, You need to take the dog to the vet instead, the kids need new clothes, my car needs repair, But we need groceries, The baby needs diapers, milk and food, I think you are ******* stupid and many other non allowed words for this site.
 

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Tame the monkey man. :) The kids, the baby, the wife are more important. Perhaps a Tackle Monkey hotline will be needed?
The tackle monkey will possess you to the fullest, he will destroy your marriage, take your home and kids from you (though in some instances he has actully benifited both spouse and kids with much like satisfaction) He will hinder you in your job and he is much like Santa Clause, he is everywhere. He even attacked me at an Aldies grocery store.

The tackle monkey has forced my wife to make comments such as: You don't need that, we can't afford that, I think you are ******* stupid, Don't you already have that, I think you are ******* stupid, But honey,we have bills to pay, You need to take the dog to the vet instead, the kids need new clothes, my car needs repair, But we need groceries, The baby needs diapers, milk and food, I think you are ******* stupid and many other non allowed words for this site.
 

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Tame the monkey man. :) The kids, the baby, the wife are more important. Perhaps a Tackle Monkey hotline will be needed?


I think I need Tackle Monkey therapy. So many rods and reels to buy so little money have I.:mad: I will check for a rider on my insurance policy to cover Tackle Monkey therapy.
 

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i can see it now

hot line: hello...
caller:help i am have the tackle monkey beating me up inside the tackle store..

hot line:please press one if it is a small monkey who only needs a few baits...
hot line:please press two if the tackle monkey is holding the most exspensive item in the store
hotline:please press three if the tackle monkey caused the car to suddenly turn and park out front of the store.
hot line:press four if it is a raging beast intent on buying EVERYTHING in the store.

caller :beep!

hot line: you have pressed #4 we are sorry. you need to leave at this time with said tackle. drive directly to fishing friends house and HIDE the tackle in his shed...then check into the local motel 6 for the next year -cause she wont let you in- your fishing friend will understand..:D


i figure the tackle monkey took me for round $8000 this year..having been around the monkey quite some time.. i have learned to seperate my tackle keeping part of it at my house some at my moms and even more at my brothers house..this way when the question of "where did ya get that"? i can answer "oh i have had it at _____'s place for a while now"

zooker
 

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I think I need Tackle Monkey therapy. So many rods and reels to buy so little money have I.:mad: I will check for a rider on my insurance policy to cover Tackle Monkey therapy.
I'm gonna check with Medicare.:eek:

We discussed previously about starting Tackleholics Anonymous, then Gander Mountain opened a new store and I volunteered to help Dave lead the charge through door at first opening and I have been on a binge ever since.:D
 

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hey, dont get me involved in this... I have nothin to do with that tackle monkey business! :rolleyes::p

The monkey is like the tooth fairy - but meaner, He doesnt really care
Sure you get a little somethin for losin somethin - but it's like eatin Mrs Sundrop's lemon cake - first bite has ya hook'd and next thing you cant put the fork down.
YOU GORGE yerself till them endorphin things kick in and your in bliss...:D

Even when wounded - the monkey comes back even stronger. Pits you against your friends, makes you encourage youngsters to partake of the action... Makes you tell some tall stories, white lies and even encourages/promotes deception between you and your significant other...:rolleyes:

You never really see him - but once bit, he'll always be there... He gets angry when you dont aknowledge him, yet he's yer best buddy (probably only buddy) when you play by his rules....alone in a cold dark ally or sittin in the car in the shadows crackin open that new box of whatever to fool with it before going home... :confused::eek:;)

Even worse, tackleholics anonymous is actually worse as nothing ever gets folks to the point of recover... he just get's everyone together in one place!!! one person mentions a buy at 25% off at one tackle shop and the whole room starts to buzz (like smackin the bee hive).. then the furvor needs to be fed and is stronger than ever...:eek::eek::eek:

It's a never ending affliction without any cure (just like boaters with 2 ft-itis disease!! there's another downhill topic...).:eek:

If you cant beat him... join him!
 

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..having been around the monkey quite some time.. i have learned to seperate my tackle keeping part of it at my house some at my moms and even more at my brothers house..this way when the question of "where did ya get that"? i can answer "oh i have had it at _____'s place for a while now"

zooker
This is very good advice Dan! Always store your tackle that she knows about in an obvious place with the same number of rods. When she asks the question..."how many rods is it that you have anyway?" you can answer..."oh, I have so and so", what ever you determine that number is and that she will be comfortable with. Then the rest of them you store somewhere that she will never see them. There is good reason for this as when you are somewhere with her and she sees you looking at new rods and such she might have counted your supply without your knowledge and this way you will be giving her a legit answer.

Mark
 
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